Life is Killing Me

by Tyler Mansmith

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about

This is a very personal album and probably the best songs I've ever written. The album theme is about life being so down or stressful, it feels as though its killing us. It deals with depression, heartbreak, and cynicism.

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released 10 February 2013

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about

Tyler Mansmith Chicago, Illinois

Singer/songwriter from Chicago, IL. Currently attending Columbia College Chicago. I record all my music on my laptop, sometimes in my dorm, sometimes in my soundproof room in my basement.

Influences: Death Cab for Cutie, Modest Mouse, Brand New, The Black Keys, Nada Surf, The White Stripes, Owen, Coldplay, Wye Oak
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Track Name: Hope Travels Through
The difference between two lovers sheets
It's not the same without you in between
I'm a shell where a man once stood
I'd climb for you if only I could….
but I can't

Make my heart stop
Feel my pulse plummet and drop
I'm a man who has lost all hope
Hallowed out and vacant of souls
I'll be alright

Hope travels through, nor quits us when we die
If I can just make it out alive

(I'll be alright!)

Hope travels through, nor quits us when we die
If I can just make it out alive….
Track Name: Lily
I couldn't stand to see you suffer
to see you sit out in the rain
so I came and sat next to you
and I'd do it again

You looked up and couldn't speak
but I knew what you wanted to say
I'd be there with you until the very end
so sleep tight, my friend

You meant so much to me
I never wanted you to leave,
but I'm glad that you found peace
Oh my sweet Lily

I know death is a scary place
and I knew it'd be hard to face
But I wouldn't let you go it alone
So go on and wander home

I'm scared of death
I'm scared of dying all by myself
That's why I couldn't let you leave without me by your side
But I'm scared, I am scared, I am scared
I am scared, I'M SCARED!
I'm scared of Death and all his friends
I'm scared cause Death, he came and took my friend
Where do I go from here?
Where do I go?
Track Name: Burning Coals
I should be able to sleep peacefully
But how can I do that without you next to me?
I should be able to live painlessly
But losing you just tortures me

Sleep….
It should come so easily

I shouldn't have to buy gifts to prove I care
A love like this, it should be rare
I shouldn't have to break bones to prove that I love you
But I'm sure my broken heart is proof
I'm a broken soul
Lighting fires and burning coals

Sleep
It should come so easily
But my heart keeps me up
By myself is not enough

(I'm a broken soul)
(Lighting fires, burning coals)

Sleep
It should of come so easily
(But my heart keeps me up)
By myself is not enough….
Track Name: Forgetting to Forget
You never replied to my text last night
I sent another out of spite
But it seems I'm easy to forget, and even harder to forgive
and your forgetfulness makes it harder to live

And I won't hesitate to ask
What you think I lack
And I won't wait for you to crawl back
I know better than that
That's just a fantasy, not based in reality
In reality, you left me

Did you lose my number or your voice?
Cause it's clear to me you made the choice
to leave me out of your head, out of your life
and that hurts more than a twisted knife

(chorus)

And I will forget to forget about you
I will forget, I can't forget
I'm easy to forget
Your forgetfulness makes it hard to live
I will forget, I can't forget
Just like you did

It seems I'm easy to forget, and even harder to forgive
and your forgetfulness makes it harder to live
In these empty, brittle bones
The thing I fear the most is dying alone
Track Name: Dramamine
Traveling, swallowing Dramamine
Feeling spaced, breathing out listerine
I'd said what I'd said that I'd tell ya
And that you'd killed the better part of me
If you could just milk it for everything
I've said what I'd said and you know what I mean
But I still can't focus on anything
We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves

Traveling, swallowing dramamine
Look at your face like you're killed in a dream
And you think you've figured out everything
I think I know my geography pretty damn well
You say what you need so you'll get more
If you could just milk it for everything
I've said what I said and you know what I mean
But I can't still focus on anything
Track Name: Cynic
If you wanna stay in bed
Spend all day just like the dead
Well it's fine by me
You can feel what its like to be
all alone

Sleeping alone in my queen
Hiding from faces I've never seen
The sound of an idle mind
It's something I'll never find
(all alone)

I wanna write a positive song
Where everything I've said about love is wrong
I'll pretend it's fun and grand
and that our live are but tiny grains of sand
I dream one day this song will be sung
And I'll act like the damage was never done
But that song remains unsung
and all the pain I feel has just begun

You and I we'll go so far
We'll fly up high into the stars
and I'll write more lame cliches
and we'll act like everything's okay

We'll pretend that life's a picnic
and act like I'm not a cynic
Track Name: Bottled Up
Life likes to keep you in a tiny noose
But you think you have freedom, cause it's just a bit loose
Sometimes I say mean things
and sometimes I say what I mean
But it seems like you don't want anything
Anything to do with me

I bottled up my feelings and sent them out to sea
Cause deep down, I'm a lot worse than I seem
But it seems like you don't want anything,
anything to do with me
Deep down it's a lot worse than it seems

Say what you mean and mean what you say
'cause it's all that matters to me
I bottled up my feelings and sent them out to sea
Cause deep down, I'm a lot worse than I seem
and the regrets are killing me

I'm sending out an S.O.S.
If anyone can recognize me in distress
I'm a god damn mess
Track Name: Grow Up
If I grow old, I hope I don't do it alone
In that case, I'd rather die young
I hate what we've become
I'm not an adult, no matter what my license says
We're just trying to live the dream that's all up in our heads
The smoke fills our lungs, but we don't care
Til the day that we die, we'll keep recycling air
singing:

"Why can't we stay young?
Because growing up sucks"

Friends down the hall don't stop to say hi
I wonder if they ever said goodbye
Miles away or across state lines
We can't handle life and its twisted design

My group of friends is broken
I've been ripped wide open, oh
We all need to stop growing older
The weather outside is colder now
(Than it ever has before)
Moving away and changing
My life is slowly fading out
It seems like we're all stuck
We need to learn to just grow up....
Track Name: The Great Depression
And so we wondered why we failed that day
How something so beautiful could slowly decay
We depreciated the value of love
then wondered why we're broke and began to shove
It's an economy we didn't understand
This great depression left nothing in my hands

That's what we get for hoping for the best
and not doing a single thing about it
We acted like it could repair itself
and assumed we'd be fine until the day we quit

World, have mercy because I don't know
where the hell it is that I should go
We were sinking and out to drift
but we were burned all the maps before we got on the ship

Don't you move, this is a robbery
I wanna steal your love cause my heart's empty
It's a depression, you can understand
and I am but one lonely, broken man

(chorus)

(Oh this bitter decline
You take what's yours and I'll take mine
You want custody of my heart that's fine
Just make sure you don't leave it behind)
Track Name: ...When We Die
Hope travels through nor quits us when we die
If only I could make it out alive
I'm too young to think of death this much
It's using me like a crutch
I'm cold to the touch
But I'll be alright

Hope travels through nor quits us when we die
If only I could make it out alive